Ask me again, five months later, one year later

If anyone asked me now to choose between ct or sa, I’d choose ct. Hands down ct. I suppose you could say it’s because ct was where I grew up the most, and to quote a line from ct’s 4th musical, “secondary school is where you make friends that will last for life”.

I think ct really did a good job (and still does) in bringing up and nurturing her students. Neighbourhood school or not, it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s because of the environment, maybe it’s because of the curriculum, or maybe it’s because of the teachers. The teachers there are really really the best. They don’t just teach, they educate. They put their heart and soul into what they do and they give everything and sacrifice so much. Dedicated isn’t even an adequate enough word to describe how passionate and devoted and committed they are. And these are the teachers who make me believe that good teachers exist. Each and every one of my teacher in ct has taught me in one way or another and funnily enough, I see certain traits of theirs in myself. The effort they put in to deliver their lessons, to ensure that their students were always keeping up, to make the clementeens lives as comfortable as possible — just thinking about it brings me to tears because the teachers in ct were such an integral part of my ct life. Without them, I wouldn’t have achieved what I have and without them, I wouldn’t have been the person I am today. Thank you Mr Koh, for teaching me things beyond the textbook, for letting me see the importance of learning. Thank you Ms Lee, for your dedication and for being such a motherly figure to 4C1 and guiding us and keeping us on track. Thank you Mr Ng, for your wit and dry humour and for making English lessons such a joy. 谢谢你黄老师,谢谢你的教导,培养了我对华文的兴趣. Thank you Mdm Y, for developing my love for history, for shaping my decision to take H2 History, for being so so encouraging, for having so much faith in me, when I had none in myself. Thank you Ms Koh, for making math my favourite subject and for making sure my foundations were strong. Thank you Ms Tan, for taking in all of my inadequacies and yet, still having faith in me. Thank you Mrs Wong, for giving in to my begging and taking my half of the class for D&T (hehehe) and for having so much faith in me, for noticing things that I never told anyone but you saw it. Thank you Mr See for always being so retarded and making laugh with your brace face impressions and your wisdom. Of course, there are so many more teachers who have impacted me in one way or anther but these were the main few who I really really respect and love.

I felt like my 4 years in ct were the best years of my life and it was where I really grew as a person. Maybe because it was the prime ~maturation~ time, so my transition from kid to teenager was the most impactful. I think I can say, that ct nurtured me to be a better person. It was where I developed my love for choir (and hence choir music), it was where I first got to take on leadership roles and step out of my comfort zone, it was where I made friends whom I know will always have my back and vice versa, it was where I learnt to be more giving, to be more patient, to be less of a whiny child, to aspire. It was where I truly felt like it was my home away from home. My time in ct was never boring and I really really looked forward to school everyday (LOL NERD ALERT) because I enjoyed learning and my friends would be there with me. Everyday in ct just brought new memories and new experiences. I love that school so much, I’m so proud to be a CT alumni and I love everything about that school (well maybe not everything, but most) – the school compound, the school food, the teachers and the people. “I’m from CTSS” is something which I’d proudly declare and choosing CTSS would definitely be the best thing I’ve ever done.

In SA now, I feel like I’m stagnant and I don’t feel/see any growth in myself. In fact I think ever since I’ve started schooling here last year, I’ve never progressed from the person I was in 2012 when I left ct, and maybe I’ve even become worse. It’s like I’m stuck and everyone else is progressing but not me. I don’t know why. Maybe sa just isn’t the right environment for me to really “unleash my potential and bloom”, but I really don’t feel the way I did in ct. Maybe it could be the JC curriculum that’s sucking away my love for learning, or maybe it could be the people in SA but I really don’t look forward to school now and I actually feel myself starting to hate it with a burning passion. I don’t feel at home, the way I did in CT, despite SA supposedly being “one family unbroken”, save for my class. Maybe it’s the teachers because the ones teaching me in SA now feel so much more intimidating and distant than ct’s.

Or maybe it’s just me. I’m too stuck in the past, in secondary school days, in ct days. Perhaps I need to move on with life and accept that fact that I’ll never get those times back and suck it up and make the most of my remaining time left in SA.

So maybe, after I graduate from SA in about five months time, ask me again, CT or SA. Maybe then, I’ll have a different answer. For now, thank you CTSS for shaping me into the person I am today. Aspire and grow indeed. 🙂

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