Wow, haven’t been on here much ever since As ended and that’s like what… 8 months ago?? I’ve been wanting to write for quite a while now but never really gotten down to doing it simply because I didn’t have the time/didn’t know how to put my thoughts and feelings into words. But seeing as tomorrow (or today) is the official start of uni life, I thought I’d just work on it even though it’s 2.46am haha.
So in the past 8 months, I’ve:
- Travelled (Europe, BKK, Korea, Taiwan)
- Worked (Zara, Ricoh, OC, SAP, Pico)
- Made new friends
- Reconnected with old ones
- Done a lot more stuff which I cannot remember
- Lost all the shit in my phone from 20 April – end July, PHOTOS INCLUDED FML
It has been quite a whirlwind but I suppose I have ~little~ regrets. I think it’s really true that we only regret the chances we didn’t take. I think I’ve grown a lot in these 8 months, stepped out of my comfort zone, learnt new things and made new friends. If anything, I dare say I enjoyed my time in Zara the most. Although it was a mere two months, it’s the most significant thing out of the entire 8 months. I learnt so much from working there and the people made work more fun. My thoughts are in a jumble right now so I’ll end my reflection of the post As here lest it becomes more incoherent.
So anyway, I’ve moved into hall (Temasek Hall) and made my first batch of friends in NUS from THOC. The E blockers are a really fun bunch to be around so I’m quite looking forward to this year with them. Second group of friends came from my Arts O week OG some of which, will be my lecture mates! 🙂 Am quite apprehensive for uni because I literally have no idea what to expect. It scares me that so much, if not all, of uni is self-driven. There’s not going to be anyone handing out notes or telling me what to do anymore. I’m on my own and this time, the playing field’s multiplied tenfold. As it is, I already am feeling so drained from the camps even before school starts. As much of an extrovert I am, I need my quiet time. I feel like this entire month of August so far has just been about meeting new people and having to put up a socially acceptable image. I feel like I’ve drifted from my old friends and I’m so scared of losing myself (again). I’ve been so caught up with new people and camps, that I take ages to reply someone and when I do, half the time it’s because I’m obliged to. I’ve barely been at home and I miss my family and home-cooked food so much. It’s even worse when I start to get nostalgic like this and I have nothing to fall back on because I lost every single photo from april to july and my memory fails me too. I miss SA like crazy and university life scares the shit out of me. Having to balance hall life + studies + NUS choir (if I do join) + relationships, it’s a tall order and right now, it’s like a huge wave looming over me and threatening to pull me under. It’s 3.34am and I need to sleep, so I’ll just end this with a promise to myself and hopefully I keep it.
In this phase of my life, I really hope I don’t lose myself to all the materialistic things. Be less concerned with the number of friends and being vain. Reestablish relationships with the friends who have always stayed since 2009. Remember to always be genuine, be real, be kind, yet at the same time, be courageous, take leaps of faith, step out of your comfort. Know your priorities, stick to them. Do not get caught up by the glamour of fame and looks. Do not get consumed by the thought in your head. You are your worst enemy. Take things as they are, for what will come will come and we will meet it when it does — que sera sera. Conquer from within. Above all else, stay grounded.