leaving/left

mel was telling me the other day about what she was going through and i realised, we were both in the same similar situation, just maybe slightly different context. i didn’t know what else i could do, because she was some thousand hundred miles away in Beijing and i’m stuck here. i want so much to just give her a hug, be there with her and cry together because i really understand how she feels. but because i can’t, all i could offer was mere words of what i hoped was comforting. but as i typed it, i felt like those were the words i myself needed to hear. it felt like while i was telling her the things i was, i was also trying to tell myself that.

i think letting go is something that i really need to learn how to do. i hold on to things so tightly that when i need to let go, it hurts worse than a bitch lol. i really don’t know why i’m still so hung up over this really…. i guess it’s just maybe i saw more in this friendship i suppose. sigh it’s okay, let it go, let it go, look past the flaws. all I can do is to accept things for what they are now, and what they will be. in time to come, this will either all be another memory, or a living friendship. gotta learn to not think so much and be content with the now. (but i did read somewhere, maybe on a trashy website LOL, that geminis are prone to always thinking about the “what ifs”, but i think it’s true so gotta learn to STOP thinking about that). sigh a month to finals, can’t afford to be distracted anymore! will take things as they go, if effort is not reciprocated then so be it! am in a better place than i was 3 weeks ago, and will get to an even better place soon.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s